Anytime you are learning a new skill, you want to find analogies between the new skill and other skills you have learned in the past. One that I think works very well with self-improvement (“the game”) is a sport. Growing up I played competitive hockey for 15 years, so finding analogies between “the game” and hockey come very naturally.
One sticking point a lot of people run into is strictly not being able to get over approach anxiety, OR not even approach anxiety, but general anxiety being in social situations. Dealing with anxiety is a topic for another day but even as an advanced guy, I tell people all the time that I still have anxiety. The only difference is I know how to deal with it and I don’t allow it to affect my night.
So I was thinking the other day about how even as an advanced guy I still have anxiety and nervousness in social situations, and it got me thinking about whether or not I had a similar situation while playing hockey. I thought back to the years I was playing the highest level possible for my age group, and I was reminded that even then before most games, I would be very nervous. I was confident, but still very nervous. However once the puck dropped I was good to go and the whole game flowed. Regardless of whether we won or lost, that nervousness subsided very quickly as I got involved in the game.
Why is that? Well, in hockey you practice a LOT. The purpose of practicing is so you do enough repetitions that when you get into that game setting, you would operate on autopilot and let your preparation take over. You already knew the system so well that you didn’t even need to sit there and think about it. Many hockey games come down to which team is better prepared, and which team executes their game plan the best. All sports are like this.
So what you want to take away from this article is this: Practice, practice, practice! Practice until it becomes autopilot. I’m not talking about becoming a social robot here, not at all. Keep practicing so that when you get into that “game” situation, your autopilot takes over, and if you have prepared well, all you need to do is execute your game plan and you should come out on the other side victorious. Or in “game” terms, you will come out of a night knowing you learned a lot, and gave yourself the best chance to move all of your interactions to the next step, whether that’s a phone call, a date, etc.
Cause that’s ultimately all you can really do: give yourself the best chance of success.
To practice make sure you put yourself in all types of different situations. Go out at night, go out during the day. Approach whenever you get the opportunity. Be that versatile man! That way, no matter what situation comes up, you will be able to handle it with confidence and know you have put in the preparation to be successful, in life and in dating.
Cheers!
{ 3 comments }
